Saturday, June 9, 2018

Strong

I have always been “strong”.

It’s probably a word that many people who know me would use to describe my personality...Strong.

That word bothers me.

Strong.

Maybe because my strength has been a facade created over many years of protecting myself from dangers, real and perceived. An armor that I crafted that has been worn for so long, it can no longer be removed.

How do you tell people that you’re not strong? That you’re vulnerable and soft. That you feel everything to your core. That sometimes you need to be saved.

How do you remove your armor when it’s the only protection your heart has?

Saturday, April 14, 2018

04/05/18 // why float when you can swim

I remember talking to my mother in law about being stressed out and she told me to just “stay afloat”.
Staying afloat is something I know well. I have stayed afloat for most of my life, even when I was sinking inside. I have gotten so good at staying afloat that when I crash and burn, the people in my life are surprised, and honestly I am too.

Today I had a conversation with a friend and she shared these same feelings with me. I think, as women, we are told that we’re so strong, we won’t crack under pressure. And if we do start to crack, we should fake it/stay afloat until we’re over it. Now, don’t get me wrong. I think that women are incredibly strong but that strength doesn’t take away from the fact that we need support. We need sisterhood, we need villages and friendships. We need to be able to rely on others until we are able to swim instead of float.

Our conversation spark something within. If I am struggling with aspects of womanhood, and so are other women in my life, why aren’t we encouraging each other to swim? I want to be a support for the women I love. I want to support them when they can only stay afloat but encourage them to swim and I hope they do the same for me.