Monday, February 23, 2015

On Turning 30


That magical number where you are supposed to have your shit stuff together. Everything is supposed to fall into place. Career, family, life, you know, EVERYTHING.
Well, my thirtieth birthday is fast approaching and I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis. I am starting to realize that for the past two years, I have lived in a bubble. I live this quiet life in my little German village. And I was just fine with that until a letter from Social Security reminded me that I did not make any income during 2013 (or 2014). That's when it hit me that for the last two years, according to the government, I haven't been doing anything with my life. Sure, I'm a stay at home mom of two young children. I know this and love this but when I return to the workforce, I will have to explain why I haven't' "worked" in two years (three years by the time we leave here).

That scares the crap out of me and sends me downward spiraling into anxiety wondering what I have to show for the past thirty years of my life. I have a family but no career, no degree (I will get that done though, pinky swear), no income of my own. I just have to keep reminding myself that I live a life that's perfect for me. That works for my family and if that doesn't fit into what society (and my environment) has taught me is acceptable for a thirty year old, then so be it. Anyways, thirty is the new twenty so I still have ten more years to figure things out.

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