Liam Says {December}

Liam wanted a piece of candy so I knelt in front of him so that he could ask for it.
Liam: "Can I have a piece of candy Mama, please?"
Me: "Huh?"
Liam reaches out and gently grabs my face.
Liam, while kissing me: "I love you Mama. You're not mad Mama, you're happy. Can I have a piece of candy now Mama?"

Liam's current phrases:
"I'm on it!"
"That's what I'm talkin' about!"
"Right away!"

He has also taken to calling Will and I "Maude", a cute mixture of Mom and Dad.

Liam while eating stir fry that I cooked: "I ate a green bean."

Me: "That's good. Green beans are good for you."

Liam: "It's healthy. This is delicious!"

Liam: "Stop looking at me like that."

Liam to Will: "You have a big head."
Will: "I have a big head?"
Liam: "Yeah, you have a big face. It's like a square."
Will: "A square?"
Liam: "Yeah, like a rectangle."

Will to Liam: "You need to pick up your toys now."
Liam: "Then I can watch "Team UmiZoomi"?"
Will: "Yeah, if you pick up your toys."
Liam, enthusiastically: "No problem. No problem Dad. Look at me go!"

Liam, while running around the living room: "Whoa, I can't stop. My feet are too fast. Whoa! I can't stop. I'm just too fast!"

Liam to Will: "Boys don't wear panties."

Will: "No. Who wears panties?"

Liam: "Natalie!"

Natalie is a girl in his class. I think someone has a crush. 

Later on that day.

Will to Liam: "Who's your best friend at school?"

Liam: "Umm, umm. Not Natalie."

Liam to me: "Where's your penis?"

Me: "I don't have a penis. Ladies, Mamas and girls don't have penises. Boy, Dads and men have penises."

Liam: "Mama, you don't have a penis?"

Me: "Nope because I'm a girl. Do girls have penises?"

Liam: "No. I'm a boy."

Me: "Do boys have penises?"

Liam: "Yeah but I'm just a kid."

Liam Says {September}

Liam, at 7:30 in the morning: "Mama, I want you make apple pie."

Liam every time he hears the Skype ding from my computer: "Is that my Daddy?"

"I'm on it Mom!"

"Oh, boy! Oh, boy!"

Liam was dancing and when he turned around, one of his butt cheeks was hanging out.
Me: "Booty!!"
Liam turns around to face me: "Penis!"

Two things Liam says at least once a day:
"I so hungry!"
"Alright, fine!"

After waking up from his nap, Liam wanted a fruit snack. I gave him one and told him that it was the last one.
Liam: "I want to share with you."
Me: "You don't have to share it. You can have the whole thing."
Liam while pouting: "No, I want to share with you."

Liam Says {August}

Pretending to talk to on the phone.
Liam to Asher: "It's my PawPaw, baby. Not your PawPaw."
Me to Liam: "It's Asher's PawPaw too."
Liam: "Well, it's my MarMar."

Liam: "Baby has a booboo on his forehead. I wanna take him to doctor!"

Liam: "What's that on my card, Mama?"
I take the card to look at it.
Liam: "Tada, it's a dinosaur."

Liam: "My dad go bye bye on airplane by himself. He take the Kindle with him. Mama drive the car."
The entire time we've been in Germany, I hadn't driven the car. I think it's pretty funny that he realizes that change.

Me to Liam: "I love you."
Liam: "I love Asher."

Liam while pooping on the potty: "This make Momma happy?"
Me, awkwardly: "Yeah, that makes Momma happy."
Liam: "This makes me happy. This makes Momma happy. This makes Baby happy.....I like poop."
Me: "Umm...you like pooping or you like poop?"
Liam: "I like poop."
Me, trying not to laugh: "That's disgusting."
Liam: "Digusting! What you laughing at Momma? What's funny?"

Liam, while pooping on the potty: "You hear my poop Momma?"

Liam: "I wanna go to the store."
Me: "Okay, we'll probably go to the store tomorrow."
Liam: "And the park and the library and the doctor."

Liam sits down with a bowl full of hot wheels: "I'm taking a seat with a bowl of popcorn."
This may not seem all that funny but we never eat popcorn, like ever. Liam has a new game on the iPad and the main character mentions popcorn. He's been obsessed ever since.

Commercial on television: "...gift cards are valued at 50 and 100 dollars..."
Liam: "100 dollars? Nooooooooooo!

Liam, at least every other day: "Austin's momma have two babies."
Liam's self-proclaimed BFF's mom is pregnant with twins.

 

Liam Says {July}

"I wanna go to commissary (the military grocery store) and get apples!"

Liam pooped in his pull up but I changed Asher's diaper first.
"Oh, Asher's getting a new diaper. Well, Momma needs to change mine."

Liam while we were dropping Will off before his deployment.
"I wanna go in airport with Daddy."

While taking Liam out of his carseat, a fly flew into our car and Liam freaked out.
"There's a bee in there! Get that baby (Asher) out of there!"

I was putting makeup on for the first time in forever while Liam was downstairs watching tv. All of a sudden I heard a loud scream and, of course, dropped everything. Liam was coming up the stairs and I asked him what was wrong.
"There's a bug in the bathroom!"

Liam Says {June}

Liam while jumping: "1...2...3...go to timeout"

Me to Liam: "Remember: If you go pee-pee in the potty today, you get stickers."
Liam: "I want candy."
Me: "Oh, you want candy...well, if you go pee-pee in the potty, you can have candy."
Liam: "And kisses."

Will to Liam: "Go build a driveway for your airplane."
Liam: "Airplane don't drive."

Me to Liam: "You'll get a treat if you use the potty."
Liam:  "No! I'm not a puppy. Artemus is a puppy."

Me while smelling Mrs. Meyer's cleaner in the store: "I'm pretty sure this makes me happy while cleaning."
Liam tried to grab a can of air freshener off the shelf.
Will to Liam: "What are you doing?"
Liam: "I wanna make Momma happy.

Liam Says {May}

Will: Baby Liam.
Liam: I not baby Dad.
Will: Oh, who's the baby then?
Liam: Ash-her.
Will: Oh, what are you?
Liam: I Liam.
Will: Oh, you're "Lee-Lee" (Will's nickname for Liam that doesn't seem to be catching on)?
Liam: I not "Lee-Lee" Dad.

Liam: Dad peed bed.
Me: Dad peed in your bed?
Liam: Yeah.
Me: Well, you should tell him not to do that.

Will while playing with Asher: Big boy Asher.
Liam: He not big boy Dad!

Liam: Baby eat Mama's boob.