An Uncertain Future

I am a creature of habit. I hate change and I hate uncertainty. When something in my life (especially something I had planned for the future) changes, I worry non-stop. I go over numerous situations in my mind, thinking of every possible outcome (and usually the bad outweighs the good).

Our future is up in the air right now. We'll be in Germany for another two years but after that, we don't know. Will is leaning towards getting out of the Army but honestly, life outside of the military scares the living crap daylights out of me. The military has always been a part of my life. My dad enlisted when I was two and even though he only stayed in for four years, I grew up right outside of an Army base. I enlisted into the Air Guard at 18 and stayed in for 10 years only getting out because we were moving to a completely different country. When Will and I got married in 2010, he had already in the Army for almost three years. No matter where my life has taken me, the military has always remained a constant, a certainty.

I understand that being military gives you a false sense of security at times. You feel as though you can't survive in the civilian world when in reality, people survive everyday. I don't know if I could. I just don't know if I'm ready to leave the world I know to enter a world of unknown.

Life and Liam.

I can't even remember the last time I did an update on Liam. Let's just say he's changed massively since then.

Liam is now two and a half years old. He's crazy (but in a good way)! He loves to laugh, run and just be a boy. I remember people saying that they have a "boy-boy" and I now I know exactly what they mean. Liam loves cars and dinosaurs and more cars (seriously, the kid has at least 150 hot wheels). You know you're the mother of a boy-boy when you find cars everywhere (I found five in my bed this morning).

He has started to pretend play on his own a lot more as well. He plays with his cars and sometimes I see him making little scenarios while pushing them around on the floor. It's so neat to watch because I can see him developing and learning (which is even more exciting for me). He likes to make up little stories too, most of them involve horses or dinosaurs eating random things. The kid talks so much and says so many random things that I've decided to start a series on this blog called "Liam Says". This will just be a fun way for me to document different things that Liam says during the month.

Another neat thing about Liam is his love for Asher. The first time I ever heard Liam sing was when Asher was crying and Liam started singing to him. It shocked me (1. because I'd never heard him sing before and 2. because he was singing a song that I would sing to him). I think that he'll be a great older brother once he realizes that he needs to be gentle with Asher. I really hope that the two of them grow up to be best friends.

Liam will always be my "lovebug" even though he's decided that Dad is just a little bit cooler than I am. That's okay though. I know that I will always have a special place in his heart, just like he'll always have a special place in mine. Here are a few more pictures of my lovebug.

Life and Time.

Just a few of our Photo Booth pictures

Time...it really goes by fast, you know. I mean, I should be used to it by now. I am 28 years old but sometimes it still takes me by surprise when I look around and realize that time has slipped by. So much has happened in our lives over the last few months (especially the arrival of our little baby Asher).

We arrived in Germany five months ago. In this time we've settled into a sort of normal life (although our sense of normalcy will be turned upside down once again). It still baffles me a little that Liam will know this as home. He's already forgotten our life in Kansas, the life that I seem to be holding on to. It's so weird to realize that when we leave Germany, he'll actually have to adjust to living in the US. He'll be used to bright colored homes with houseplants in every window, bike/walking trails that can take you from one town to another, dogs in restaurants/stores, and of course, being surrounded by the German language and culture. I really wish that I could say I have adapted as well as he has but I guess I still have time on my side (if it would slow down a bit).

Over the next few days, I plan to have more updates on our lives since moving to Germany. I'll have each post relate to a specific topic (such as Life and Liam) so you can skip over them if you're not interested. Hopefully this will get me caught up and I can start posting on a regular basis! I really do have lots of plans for this blog and I hope that they come through and this can be a place where I can share and feel at home.