Our Week in Pictures {April 14 - April 20}

A First Birthday Letter to Asher (And Party Pictures)

My sweet little baby Asher,
I still can't believe that a year ago, I held you in my arms for the very first time and for the third time in my life, I fell in love. I know you won't be this small forever so everyday I am thankful for having you in my life. I will treasure every smile and every moment I am blessed to spend with you. Happy first birthday my love!

Here are a few pictures from Asher's first birthday party!

Our Week in Pictures {April 7 - April 13}

This week was a pretty quiet one. We spent lots of time at home, went one a few walks and celebrated my 29th birthday. 

29 years.

(This post was intended to go up on April 11th, the day after my birthday but I broke our router.)

Yesterday was my 29th birthday. I do not feel 29. I feel more like 24. It's weird to think about my life and where I'm at. Things have a way of working out quite differently than we imagined or planned. 10 years ago, I would laughed if someone told me I'd be a 29 year old Army wife and stay at home mom (with no degree). I probably would have said something like, "Do you think I'm stupid??!!". But here I am and it's not all that bad. This birthday has caused me to do a bit of self-reflecting. I realize that I am not a very happy person. I'm not sure if it's the lack of family/friends in my life or just the realization that I haven't lived up to my full potential.

Growing up (and even into college) I had a few adults take an interest in me but I never took advantage of their outstretched hand and mentorship. I always skated by doing the bare minimum and just accepting things as they came. I never realized that if I wanted to grow and improve as a person, it was up to me to do it. Instead I waited around for others to present me with opportunities and made half assed attempts when something finally fell into my lap. I wish I could say that was in the past but honestly, it isn't. This year, this 29th year, I plan to change that. I plan to work on my happiness but also work on building my self worth. I am worthy of opportunities for self growth and if those opportunities don't present themselves, I will go out looking for them.

All I can say is that this 29th year, I will grow as a person and 30 will be even better. 

Our Week in Pictures {March 31 - April 6}

Three S's: sunshine, smiles, and Sophie.

Original Liam artwork.

Soccer practice.

Orange heart shades.

Family runs.

Just me.

Liam's duckface.

A Lesson to be Learned

Aka "The time the Army kept most of our paycheck". 

I just checked our pay for next payday and I am surprised that I'm not curled up in a ball, crying after seeing such a low amount. We knew this was a big possibility in the back of our mind but overall, we could have prepared a lot better.

Pretty much, after Will came home on emergency leave and they decided that he did not need to return, the Army did not stop his deployment pay (even after multiple trips to Finance). After we finally got things worked out, they told us how much we owed and we set up payment arrangements. Well, let's just say that the Army decided not to use that arrangement and instead is taking all of the overpay this month. Yeah, not fun at all.

If this had been a couple months ago, I would be freaking out. I'm not sure if it's because we were semi-prepared for this or if I'm learning to deal with these hurdles (and controlling my anxiety better). Either way, I have learned a lesson in this situation. We definitely need to simplify our lives and start building our savings. We want to be more yah prepared if a situation like this were to happen again. 

Any tips on simplifying and/or building savings?

Marriage is...

HARD! I'll be the first to admit that we do not have a perfect marriage (or relationship for that matter). I did not have great examples of healthy relationships growing up. My parents divorced when I was young (and never really had a great relationship during or after their marriage) and although my mom had relationships after that, they were usually unhealthy.

I always knew that if I got married, I wanted a marriage different than the ones I saw growing up. I wanted my children to have a stable household full of love. Well, I think we've accomplished those aspects of our relationship but there are some areas that need to be improved.

Over the past month, both Will and I have put a lot more effort into our marriage. We've started to do more things as a family (even though Will runs on a regular basis, he has started doing my 5K running plan with me and the boys as well). We have also made communicating a priority. I think that has been the biggest issue with our marriage and I'd like to see that change. I have come to realize that we'll never have the perfect marriage and I have to accept that. There will be hard times and there will be good times but I wouldn't have it any other way. The way I see it, if we didn't have hard times, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones. Let's hope for lots of good times in our future.

A Simple Life.

I felt the need to simplify our life. The need to get rid of things like clutter while adding color and light to our lives. It really is a weird balance that we strive for. We're constantly told that we should want more and more but sometimes that comes with the neglect of experiences and simplicity (am I even making sense right now).

When Will and I first got married (we just celebrated our four year anniversary - holla!), I had this idea in my head of our "perfect" life. Our perfect house and our perfect kids. It took me awhile to realize that perfect, in the sense that I was reaching for, doesn't really exist and it really shouldn't. I can't expect a perfect house and perfect children if I want our lives to be full of experiences and color and patterns. I have to accept the mess that comes along with adding this sense of warmth to our lives.

I will admit that even though this desire for imperfection is strong, it is extremely hard for someone like me. I like structure and predictability. I like clean and sharp. Stepping outside of my comfort zone sends my anxiety levels sky high but I am trying a little more each day to accept the mess that comes with a house of warmth.

I'm currently working on lots of different areas of our house. I plan to share our progress soon and maybe even do a few DIY tutorials (although they probably won't be too interesting or as visually appealing as other blogs). I really do like this transition we're making in our home and in our lives. We're living in lots of color right now and I love it.

Welcome to Will and Jaye...and the Boys

We have a new look and a new name! I owe the new design to Bella Lulu Ink. The blog was definitely in need of a fresh, new look and I think this is perfect. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do and make sure to check back on us often. We'll be here :)

It's been awhile....

I have been in a blogging funk (which is evident by my lack of blogging). Actually, if I'm honest, I have been in a life funk. Every time I come to my blog, wanting to share so much, I feel like there is nothing worth sharing. I don't do much of anything on a daily basis (although this isn't entirely true, I do tons of everyday, ordinary tasks). I don't have a very interesting life. I'm a stay at home mother of two...nothing glamorous about that. That thought, the one that downplays everything I currently am, is always in the back of my mind when I come here to talk about my life.

But that's going to change. I will be back to share my boring, everyday life even if the only readers are my sister and Oma (hi ladies!). I have lots of pictures to share as well as a new blog layout. Oh, yeah, and a new name. Ya know, since our world no longer revolves around Liam.
I should have everything together by next week so expect lots of boring to come your way :)

Liam Says {December}

Liam wanted a piece of candy so I knelt in front of him so that he could ask for it.
Liam: "Can I have a piece of candy Mama, please?"
Me: "Huh?"
Liam reaches out and gently grabs my face.
Liam, while kissing me: "I love you Mama. You're not mad Mama, you're happy. Can I have a piece of candy now Mama?"

Liam's current phrases:
"I'm on it!"
"That's what I'm talkin' about!"
"Right away!"

He has also taken to calling Will and I "Maude", a cute mixture of Mom and Dad.

Liam while eating stir fry that I cooked: "I ate a green bean."

Me: "That's good. Green beans are good for you."

Liam: "It's healthy. This is delicious!"

Liam: "Stop looking at me like that."

Liam to Will: "You have a big head."
Will: "I have a big head?"
Liam: "Yeah, you have a big face. It's like a square."
Will: "A square?"
Liam: "Yeah, like a rectangle."

Will to Liam: "You need to pick up your toys now."
Liam: "Then I can watch "Team UmiZoomi"?"
Will: "Yeah, if you pick up your toys."
Liam, enthusiastically: "No problem. No problem Dad. Look at me go!"

Liam, while running around the living room: "Whoa, I can't stop. My feet are too fast. Whoa! I can't stop. I'm just too fast!"

Liam to Will: "Boys don't wear panties."

Will: "No. Who wears panties?"

Liam: "Natalie!"

Natalie is a girl in his class. I think someone has a crush. 

Later on that day.

Will to Liam: "Who's your best friend at school?"

Liam: "Umm, umm. Not Natalie."

Liam to me: "Where's your penis?"

Me: "I don't have a penis. Ladies, Mamas and girls don't have penises. Boy, Dads and men have penises."

Liam: "Mama, you don't have a penis?"

Me: "Nope because I'm a girl. Do girls have penises?"

Liam: "No. I'm a boy."

Me: "Do boys have penises?"

Liam: "Yeah but I'm just a kid."

2013 Recap...

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

Moving thousands of miles away from home was definitely new. This is the longest (and furthest) I have ever been away from Kansas.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I think I did, in a way. I only had one and I think I improved a bit as a person by not as much as I could have.
You can read more about my 2013 resolutions here.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My sister gave birth to her first son in February and I had Asher in April!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

We have been very blessed this year but Will lost his (maternal) grandmother. They weren't very close though.

5. Did you visit anywhere exciting?

Germany, of course! Although, I will admit that we haven't seen too much but that will change (I hope) next year.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

I would like to have more motivation, more dedication. I definitely lacked both in 2013.

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 21st - Giving birth to Asher in a German hospital without an epidural. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think making it through a (relatively short) deployment with two kids under two and a dog was a pretty big achievement. I mean, everyone survived so that's a plus. 

9. What was your biggest mistake?

My biggest mistake of the year has been not taking advantage of being in Europe. I plan to change that though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My iPhone 5c...and cloth diapers.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

 
My boys (all four of them, if you include Artemus). They have adjusted to moving, deployments, homecomings and a, at times, cranky momma.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Hmm...I don't think anyone's behavior had me appalled and/or depressed this year. 

14. Where did most of your money go in 2013?

Bills, little people (aka kids), food and gas.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Asher! And everything that goes along with having a little baby (although he was eight pounds at birth).

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

Pompeii - Bastille
Drunk in Love - Beyonce
Roar - Katy Perry

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:

1. Not pregnant

2. Not in Texas

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I would have focused on myself more. I tend to put myself aside a lot and this is something that needs to change.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I would have worried less. I gave myself so much anxiety that I shut down quite a bit.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I spent Christmas at home with my boys, and I loved it.

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?

I didn't fall in love but I think I grew in love, if that makes sense.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

The Mindy Project

Orange is the New Black

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope, hate is a very strong word and a very strong feeling. I don't think I feel that way towards anyone.

24. What was the best book you read?

 

I hate to admit this but I did not read an actual novel this year (only books about parenting). I did buy The Lowlands. So maybe that will be the best book I read in 2014.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I didn't have any musical discoveries this year. I rarely even listened to music, well, besides our Frank Ocean cd that played all year in our car.

26. What did you want and get?

I wanted a healthy baby and I got that (and he's pretty awesome too).

27. What did you want and not get?

A stand mixer...but there's always next year

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Oh man. I don't even know. It was spent at home and I was super pregnant (I gVe birth to Asher a week and a half after my birthday). I turned 28 (aka old).

29. What’s one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I went out exploring more and took pictures. 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

I literally spent most of my time in leggings and big shirts. It was a really unfashionable year for me. 

31. What kept you sane?

Haha, sane?!?! I don't think anything kept me sane this year. That will be one of the things I work on.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Man, this year I didn't really fancy anyone.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

I ignore/avoid politics as much as possible. It helps that I never watch the news and being in Germany is like living in a bubble.  

34. Who do you miss the most?

My family. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom. Yeah, I know I'm an adult but that doesn't make it any easier especially when I think about the fact that she's hasn't had the opportunity to meet Asher in person.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

I met two good friends here in Germany. It makes things a lot better when you have someone in a similar situation to talk to.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013?

If there's anything I've learned from 2013, it's that I am not the person I want to be. I need to grow as a person, as a mother and especially as a wife.

37. What are your new years resolutions for 2014?

You can read about those here.

I found this survey on Ok, Dani. If you have time, check her recap out!

2014, whoop whoop!

Source

There are only two things I want for 2014: less and more.

Okay, I know those two things are the exact opposite of each other but just bare with me for a bit. 

I want less clutter, less struggle, less distractions, less worry. I want more enjoyment, more smiles, more quality time, more experiences, more motivation. I want to look back on 2014 and see all the things I did, not regret the things I didn't do. I want this year's motto to be "quality not quantity".

Frohes neues Jahr!

Happy New Year! 

An Uncertain Future

I am a creature of habit. I hate change and I hate uncertainty. When something in my life (especially something I had planned for the future) changes, I worry non-stop. I go over numerous situations in my mind, thinking of every possible outcome (and usually the bad outweighs the good).

Our future is up in the air right now. We'll be in Germany for another two years but after that, we don't know. Will is leaning towards getting out of the Army but honestly, life outside of the military scares the living crap daylights out of me. The military has always been a part of my life. My dad enlisted when I was two and even though he only stayed in for four years, I grew up right outside of an Army base. I enlisted into the Air Guard at 18 and stayed in for 10 years only getting out because we were moving to a completely different country. When Will and I got married in 2010, he had already in the Army for almost three years. No matter where my life has taken me, the military has always remained a constant, a certainty.

I understand that being military gives you a false sense of security at times. You feel as though you can't survive in the civilian world when in reality, people survive everyday. I don't know if I could. I just don't know if I'm ready to leave the world I know to enter a world of unknown.

Merry Christmas to You and Yours!

From Will and Jaye and the Boys

O Tannenbaum (O'Christmas Tree)

I must admit, I'm pretty proud of our tree this year. Don't get me wrong, it's nothing crazy awesome but I love it. It has a really rustic feel to it which normally isn't my style, however, it just works for our house right now. I made a few of the ornaments and plan to have the boys "help" me make a few more but other than those soon to be crafted ornaments, our tree is done.
So, did you try something new with your tree this year? Or do you have a traditional tree-scape (I think I just made that word up, I like it)?

To Liam, On His Birthday

Dear Liam,
From the moment our eyes locked three years ago, I knew you were going to be special and you are. You are a smart, loving little man who can drive me batty but fill me with so much love at the same time (which means you're pretty talented too). As you grow over this next year, I hope that you keep that sparkle in your eye, that curiosity, that spunk but most of all, I hope that you keep your heart.

Love,
Momma

Here are a few birthday party pictures fro you guys :)
 

Three is a Magic Number

Cars/Cars 2 Birthday Party

Creepy smile

The Birthday Boy

Cars Cupcakes and Cake c/o Eat Cake Love
We'd like to thank everyone who came to over to make Liam's birthday extra special. It was hard being here without family around but you guys made us feel loved. We can't thank you enough.